Cranberry Pistachio Shortbread Cookies

These little babies are the most festive things ever, and they're not even trying! These cookies are a crumbly shortbread, that melts in your mouth, filled with salty pistachios and sweet chunks of dried cranberries. Optional, you can drizzle some chocolate on them, which I did, but it's totally not even necessary! Also, these are legit, the easiest recipe in the world.


For the Cookies:

1 c unsalted butter, room temp (2 sticks)
1/2 c granulated sugar
1 3/4 c all-purpose flour
3/4 tsp salt
1/2 c chopped pistachios
1/2 c dried cranberries (I didn't really measure this, so this is my best estimate- it was roughly the same as the pistachios that I DID measure. I mostly just poured until it looked right).

1. Combine butter and sugar in a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment.
2. Slowly add in salt and flour. The dough will look a little crumbly, but should stick together well when you press it with your hands.
3. Add in pistachios and cranberries and mix by hand so that you don't demolish the nuts and cranberries.
4. Turn out onto a clean, floured surface. Roll into a log. Wrap it in plastic wrap and set in the fridge for half an hour to an hour so that it firms up.

5. Preheat oven to 375F and line baking sheets with parchment paper.
6. Take out and slice into 1/3 - 1/2 inch slices. Place on baking sheet and baking for about 8 - 10 minutes, or until the edges just get slightly golden brown. **The second time I made these, I put too many fillings in (like that's even a thing), so when I cut the log, it crumbled. I just rolled them back into balls and flattened them. They were great still! They just needed a little more time in the oven because they were thicker. What I'm saying is, you can't mess these up!

7. Once cooled, you can also melt some dark and/or white chocolate, put it in a ziploc bag with the corner cut off, and drizzle to your heart's content!

Thanksgiving Hot Water Crust Pie

Ricky and I are celebrating our Thanksgiving early since he has to work on Turkey Day. We decided to make a meat pie filled with all the goodness of Thanksgiving. Now, since we were making this before Thanksgiving, we made all the food for the inside of the pie the night beforehand, but this is the ultimate way to use your leftovers from the big day as well!

We used turkey breast, stove top stuffing (yes, it's in a box, and yes it's my favorite - step off), gravy, and mashed potatoes. Like I said though, you do you, boo. What you got left over? Green bean casserole? Okay, throw it in there. Cranberry sauce? Done. Sweet potato casserole? I'm not mad at that.

Let me tell you about how we prepared our innards in case you are making this on a day that's not the day after Thanksgiving, like us. As I stated earlier, we made the innards the day before, and then we made the crust and assembled on the day of feasting.

For the Turkey:
2 pounds turkey breast? **We got an 8 pound turkey breast because that's what Aldi had, and it was a good sale. We used like 1/4 - 1/3 of the meat we had.**
Salt *a generous amount*
Pepper
Fresh Rosemary
A lemon (again,, this is if you have a whole on-bone turkey breast)

1. Preheat oven to 350F. Prepare a baking sheet with aluminum foil.
2. If you got a giant turkey breast like us, still on the bone, pat dry and generously slather with olive oil. Salt and pepper the outside.
3. Fill the cavity of the bird with fresh rosemary and a lemon cut in half.
4. If you didn't buy a giant turkey breast, you can just oil, salt and pepper, and finely chop the rosemary and sprinkle it over the skin.
5. Bake the turkey for about 2 hours if you have 8 pounds of it.... but you're looking for it to be at an internal temp of 165F no matter what size you have. For a big guy like ours, we took it out at about 155F and let it rest up to the correct temperature, about 45 mins to an hour.

6. Once cooled enough to handle, cut into chunks. We put ours in the fridge overnight because I couldn't be bothered to make all of this AND the pie in one night.
7. If there's any juices in the pan, drain off into a mason jar and keep in the fridge for gravy tomorrow.

For the Gravy:
..... I used a packet of gravy mix. Don't  judge me... There was a lot going on.

1 packet of gravy mix
Juices from your turkey + enough water to make 1 cup

1. Pour gravy packet and juices and water in a small saucepan and bring to a boil. Allow to cook for about a minute, and then turn off until assembly. You can also jazz it up with any other spices you like.

For the Stuffing:
I'm not writing this out- buy a box of stuffing. Follow directions. You'll need butter.

For the Mashed Potatoes:
3 large-ish russet potatoes
1 c-ish whole milk
1 stick unsalted butter (shut up, it's Thanksgiving- these are free calories)
1/3 packet of ranch seasoning
Salt and pepper to taste

1. Peel potatoes and cut into 1 inch pieces (this just makes them cook faster). Put them in a pot with cold water (until covering potatoes) and add a lot of salt.
2. Bring to a boil and let cook until fork tender. Drain and set aside.
3. If you're us, we put the potatoes in the fridge once they were cooled and finished the mashing process the next day.
4. Put potatoes back in the pot and add milk, butter, and seasonings. *this is true whether you have cold potatoes or hot. **if they're cold, heat everything together until warm.
5. Mash with your favorite method. *We did a hand mixer so they were creamy.
6. Taste and add additional spices if need be.

For the Hot Water Crust:
I used the recipe I have used before from this Guinness meat and mushroom pie.

300 g unsalted butter (a little less than 3 sticks- 21.5 tablespoons)
1 1/3 c water
1 tsp salt
5 c all-purpose flour

1. Preheat oven to 400F. Have a springform pan on deck. *I used a 9 inch, but I have also done this in an 8 inch springform.
2. Put water, salt, and butter in a saucepan and bring to a boil.
3. While that's coming to a boil, but flour in a large heat-safe bowl and clean off your counter so that you can knead dough on it.
4. Once water mixture comes to a boil, make a well in flour and start to pour in, mixing as you go.
5. Once it is all combined, turn out onto counter.
6. Knead dough for about 10 - 15 minutes until it gets shiny and holds together better.

7. This is how it looks in the middle of the kneading process- see how it's still pulling apart?

8. Pull off about 1/3 of the dough and set aside for the top of the crust.
9. Roll out the larger piece so that it is big enough to cover the bottom and sides of the pan. *I kept grabbing my pan and seeing if it was large enough.

11. Transfer to the pan and press into the bottom and up the sides of the pan. It's okay if it falls apart a little- just shove it back together.

12. Roll out the top of the pie crust just so it's slightly bigger than the pan. Set aside.

Assembly:

1. Take prepared pan with dough in it. Add a layer of stuffing (or whatever you have).

2. Add second layer of goodness- for us it was turkey and gravy.

3. Add third layer- this was mashed potatoes for us.

 

4. If you got more stuff, keep adding.
5. Once done layering, add the top pie crust. Tear off excess and press top crust into the side crust to form a seal. Don't press it over the pan, otherwise you'll destroy it when trying to get it out of the pan.

6. In a small bowl, take an egg and beat it with a splash of water. Brush onto the top of the crust. This will help browning. If you don't have an egg, you can also do this with milk or heavy cream.
7. Cut slits in the top for venting. Bake for about 50 minutes or until the crust is golden brown.

8. Allow to cool. This is like the fires of hell hot, so at least 20 - 25 minutes.
9. Release from the pan.

10. Cut and serve with extra gravy (or cranberry sauce).

11. Fall into a turkey coma.

Rosemary Parmesan Shortbread

I wanted to try making some savory shortbread as a little appetizer for Thanksgiving. I riffed off of my sweet shortbread. The first time, I put far too much flour because I didn't account for not having sugar in there... but the second time, they were delightful! These little babies are salty and smell like the holidays for sure. Also, I will be posting a bonus recipe here where I used this shortbread as a crust for a savory tart, and where I contemplate if that's the only application needed for savory shortbread.. 

For the shortbread:

2 sticks of butter, unsalted, room temp
1 3/4 c all-purpose flour
2 oz (ish) grated parmesan cheese *buy the block, grate it yourself **I say ish because I think I added more, because it's kinda like vanilla, and we measure cheese with our hearts
2 tbsp fresh rosemary, chopped
1 tsp salt
1/8 tsp cayenne
Pinch of black pepper

1. Preheat oven to 350F and line a baking sheet with parchment.
2. In a large bowl, mix all ingredients to combine.
3. Turn dough out onto parchment and press down with hands until you have a rectangle that's about 1/4 inch thick. *The second time, I did take the parchment off the baking sheet, roll with the rolling pin, and then put the parchment back on the sheet. **Also, I say rectangle loosely. You'll be cutting them anyway, and the excess is a great chef snack!

4.** What I didn't do that I will do next time is go ahead and cut these into squares with a knife or a bench scraper before I bake them so that they resemble neat little crackers. I didn't do this the first time, and they are delicious, but crumbly when you cut.
4. Bake in the oven for about 20 - 25 minutes or until the top is lightly golden. *If you cut them into smaller squares, the baking time will probably be faster. I will update when I make again!

5. If you didn't cut beforehand, when then come out of the oven, immediately cut into squares. Allow to cool completely before you eat.

Bonus round (Savory Tart):

Use recipe above for the crust, and then you'll need:
6 oz Italian sausage *I used hot Italian sausage
2 white onions
1/4 c fresh parsley, chopped
1/2 c grated parmesan (you should have leftovers from the block anyway)
1 1/2 c (ish) shredded mozzarella
1 clove garlic
*Optional additions- a pinch of red pepper flake and worchestershire sauce

1. Preheat oven to 375F.
2.Take your shortbread dough and press it into the bottom of a tart pan or pie pan. Par bake for about 10 - 15 minutes just so that it starts to set up. It will finish cooking with the innards later.

3. In a pan, cook the sausage on medium heat and then remove to a bowl to use later.
4. Chop onions into half moons (like strips, cut the onion in half and then just cut strips... you get what I'm going for right?). Add to the pan that the sausage was cooked in. Add a bit of salt, pepper, and oil. Turn down to a lower heat and allow to caramelize. This does take a bit. I also added a bit of worchestershire, but like I said, that's optional.

5. Combine sausage, onions, cheeses, and parsley in a bowl. Reserve a bit of cheese for the top of the tart.

 6. Put all ingredients in the tart pan on top of the par-baked shortbread dough. Top with reserved cheese.

7. Bake in the oven for about 30 minutes or until the crust and the top are lightly golden.
8. Allow to cool for about 15 - 20 minutes before digging in or you will burn everything like I did. I have little patience. This should come as no surprise.

Spice Cake with Cinnamon Buttercream

It's November, and that's the perfect time for all things spice. This is another recipe that I decided to make because I am still trying to perfect a "white cake" recipe, aka a non-chocolate cake, and tis the season to have copious amounts of cinnamon in everything, so here we are. This recipe makes three 8-inch round cakes OR 24 cupcakes with a bit extra. I chose cupcakes for this one so that I could shove them full of fig marmalade. No regrets.

For the Cake:
1/3 c vegetable oil
1 stick unsalted butter, room temperature
3 eggs
2 c granulated sugar
2 c all purpose flour
1 1/2 c cake flour

1 1/2 c buttermilk
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp vanilla
3/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground cloves
1/4 tsp ground ginger

1. Preheat oven to 350F and prepare 24 cupcake tins with liners (and an extra little cake pan for the extra batter. No batter left behind!)
2. Combine vegetable oil and butter in the bowl of stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment.
3. Gradually add in the granulated sugar and whip until light and fluffy.
4. Add in eggs and vanilla to the sugar mixture.
5. In a separate bowl combine dry ingredients: flour, salt, baking soda, baking powder, and spices.

6. Pour 1/3 of the dry ingredients into the sugar mixture and mix to combine.
7. Pour 1/2 of the buttermilk into sugar mixture and combine.
8. Pour another 1/3 of dry.
9. Pour second 1/2 of buttermilk.
10. Pour in the last 1/3 of the dry ingredients.
11. Divide the batter between cupcakes liners. Bake for 18 - 22 minutes or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.

For the Buttercream:
3 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature
4 c (ish) powdered sugar, sifted
1 tbsp vanilla
Pinch of salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon *I am gonna be honest here- I didn't measure. I rarely do with cinnamon. This is my best estimate. Put some in and taste it and add more if you need to. That's all I got. 
**You could also add a splash of heavy cream to loosen it up if you like. I did not.*

1. Put butter into stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment and start to mix.
2. Slowly incorporate the powdered sugar and cinnamon. *I actually sifted these two together. 
3. Add vanilla and salt.
4. Whip until light and fluffy. If you feel like it's too loose, add more sugar. If it feels too tight, add a splash of cream or milk.
5. Slather on everything. Everything.

Assembly:
1. Take the cooled cupcakes and hollow out a hole in the center, making sure not to go all the way to the bottom of the cupcake. Put your favorite fig marmalade in a piping bag and cut off the tip. *You could also use like a pumpkin or apple butter here. That would be delicious. Or like an apple pie filling. Oh man, now I want apple pie.

2. Pipe the marmalade into each cupcake. I took the piece that I cut out of the cupcake and just took the very top and put it back on top of the jam so that it's easier to frost.
3. Pipe or scoop buttercream onto each cupcake- I scooped here and swirled with an offset spatula. These have a rustic feel to me, but you could jazz them up for the holidays easily.
4. Make some coffee and sit on your couch with a warm blanket and eat at least 3 in a row to make sure they're just right before you serve them to your guests. Quality control people.

Strawberries and Cream Macarons

I don't know if you can tell, but I'm on a macaron kick. Once you figure out these persnickety bitches, well you feel like you've conquered something and you want to make them over and over again. It also helps that they're delicious and bite-sized, so you can just pop one in your mouth every time you go in the kitchen. I made these with my friend and fellow baker, Liz. We did a double batch, so I will tell you those measurements (with the weights in case you want to do more or less). This recipe makes about 48 macarons (96 shells- they're sandwich cookies).

For the Shells:
132 g egg whites (4 eggs for me) *if you recall from the lemon macarons, this is your base number, so everything else you can measure based off of this.*
198 g almond flour (1.5 amount of egg whites)
105 g granulated sugar (0.8 egg whites)
198 g powdered sugar (1.5 part egg whites)
1/4 tsp cream of tartar
1 tsp vanilla

*a dash of red food coloring if you want a more "strawberry" look

1. Prepare a piping bag with a large round tip and set aside. Line baking sheet with silpat mat or parchment. *You will want to draw a circle template to pipe your macarons on to if you're using parchment;**You'll need at least four baking sheets with the parchment ***If you plan to make a lot of macarons, just invest in some mats. I bought mine on amazon for like 12 bucks for 2 mats.
2. In a stand mixer fitted with whisk attachment, start mixing egg whites. Don't mix them on too high of a speed (no higher than 6 on a kitchenaid). While this starts out, move to the second step.

3. Weigh out almond flour and powdered sugar. Sift together into a large bowl and set aside. 

4. Once egg whites have started to foam up, add cream of tartar. 

5. Slowly add granulated sugar to the egg whites and keep mixing until egg whites get to a stiff peak. 

6. Add vanilla to the egg whites and allow to incorporate. 

7. Fold half the dry ingredients into the egg whites. You don't have to be gentle here. You think you do because it's egg whites, but you don't. Mix that shit.
8. Fold second half of dry ingredients into the mixture. Here you can be a bit more gentle. You are going to mix for a while until the mixture gets shiny and the batter ribbons back onto itself. If the ribbons incorporate back into the rest of the batter within 20 seconds or so, you should be okay.
9. Pour batter into prepared piping bag and pipe onto the circles of your sil pat or parchment. Don't draw around the circle; just pipe directly down until it fills the circle.
10. Slam the baking sheet on the counter several times to get rid of air bubbles.
11. Allow to sit at room temperature until they are matte and don't stick to your finger when you try to touch them gently. This can take 20 minutes if it's not humid, or an hour if it's June in the midwest when you're making them...

12. Towards the end of your sitting, you can preheat oven to 350F. 
13. Once you are ready to bake, drop the oven to 325F and bake for 12-14 minutes (but check at 10 mins). You can check by placing your finger on a shell and gently moving it back and forth. If the shell moves, it is still not baked enough. Once the shell stays on its base, they're done. **ONLY BAKE ONE TRAY AT AT TIME!** I tried to do more than one, but then my shells cracked. I did the same batter but one tray at a time, and it worked. I mean, you can do more than one, but don't come at me if it doesn't work, but feel free to say "I told you so" if it works out totally fine for you.
14. Allow to cool completely before filling.

For the filling:
3 c powdered sugar
2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature
1/3 c crushed dehydrated strawberries
Zest of one lemon
Pinch of salt
1 tbsp strawberry jam *You will also use strawberry jam in the center of these macarons as well.

1. Prepare two piping bags- one with a star tip and another with a small circular
piping tip.
2. Crush dehydrated strawberries and sift together with powdered sugar in a large bowl.

3. In a stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment, start whipping up butter. Slowly add powdered sugar mixture to the butter, incorporating before adding more.
4. Add salt, lemon zest, and strawberry jam and mix until fully incorporated. Place in the piping bag with star tip.
5. In other piping bag, place some of the strawberry jam.

Assembly
1. Take one shell and pipe a ring of buttercream around the edge. Be careful here- you don't want to overdo it on the filling.
2. Plop a little dollop of jam in the middle of the buttercream ring.

3. Add the top shell and gently push together.
4. Store in an airtight container. *Others say to put it in the fridge, but I don't It doesn't need to be refrigerated, and I like the texture better when they're not refrigerated, but you do you, boo.

Orange Spice Muffins

It's fall y'all, which is making me want to start making all the warm spicey delicious things. As you well know, we are down the rabbit hole of ratios, and so here we are with another ratio- quick breads AKA muffins! A quick bread ratio is 1 part egg, 1 part butter, 2 parts liquid, and 2 parts flour. When you know the ratios, you can make as little or as much as you want. You want 6 muffins for a Saturday breakfast? Done. You want 48 muffins to bribe all your coworkers into loving you? Deal. So, I'm gonna give you the weights because the ratios are in weights, and the best approximation of American measurements as well. This recipe makes 6 muffins, but like I said, double or triple away! Also let me just say that these throw together in like 5 minutes, so in like 25 minutes you have hot muffins. Talk about a win.

For the Muffins:
1 large egg (mine was 60 g)
60 g butter, melted (4 tbsp- half a stick)
60 g granulated sugar (1/4 c) *I stick to a 1 part sugar here also so that it's not too sweet, but you can add more or less to your muffins- maybe that's why it's not strictly part of a muffin ratio. Also let us not forget about savory muffins*
120 g all-purpose flour (1 c)
120 g (ish) buttermilk (1/2 c)
Juice and zest of an orange **This is why I say ish on that buttermilk- it's 120 g of liquid, so combine buttermilk and juice of your orange to get to that**
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder (general rule of thumb here is 1 tsp baking powder per cup of flour- in case you're doubling ;)
1 tsp vanilla extract
A pinch each of cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg (or you can just do a few pinches of like pumpkin pie spice as well).

1. Preheat oven to 375F. Prepare muffin tin with liners.
2. Melt butter and allow to cool slightly.
3. In a mixing bowl (no stand mixer required here!) mix wet ingredients together- butter, sugar, egg, vanilla, buttermilk, juice, and zest.
4. In a smaller bowl, mix dry ingredients to combine- flour, salt, baking powder, spices.
5. Slowly mix dry ingredients into the wet ingredients just until incorporated- you don't want to over-mix here.
6. Distribute between muffin tins. *I find that a 1/4 c measurer is the perfect amount for a stand-sized muffin tin.*
7. Bake for 16 - 20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. *Mine took 18 mins*

For the Glaze:
As I have said before for a glaze, this is not really a recipe. Liquid + Powdered sugar til you have the right consistency you want and the right amount. You do you, boo.

Juice of 1 orange
1/2 c (ish) of powdered sugar, sifted

1. Squeeze juice into a bowl and slowly incorporate powdered sugar. It will look like it's not going to make a liquid, but it totally does. You want it to be thick but pourable. If you need more liquid, add more juice or a little water. If you need it to be thicker, add more powdered sugar.
2. Once muffins are cooled, dunk or drizzle muffins with glaze. I opted for dunk, and even let the glaze harden a bit and did a double dunk. Damn right I did. There's no such thing as "extra glaze" in my book.

3. Anyway, enjoy these sweet little babies. I also feel like these would be perfect for like a holiday brunch. Maybe even for Thanksgiving snackies before dinner. The possibilities are endless.

Krantz Cake aka Chocolate Babka

This is a fun one! A krantz cake is also known as a chocolate babka. Thank you, wikipedia. I saw this recipe and was like this looks like a babka. Then I made it and was like this tastes like a babka. Then I googled and was like oh, it is a babka. This is fucking delicious and it is easier than it seems. Really. This is a two-dayer, so just keep that in your head. You're not making babka at 5:00pm to eat for dessert at 8:00.
I am going to immediately apologize for a few digressions here. Okay, first of all, I did this recipe for our cookbook club. Yes, I know, you wish you were as cool as me and my friends and had your own cookbook club. It's never too late, I say! Anyway, so we choose one cookbook every month, and everyone chooses a recipe (or two) to make out of it. Then we all get together and eat every magical thing. It's amazing and will make you gain at least three pounds. Totally worth it.
For January, we used the Jerusalem book by Yotam Ottolenghi. I had not heard of him before. I know. That's ridiculous. I have heard of him now, obviously. You know the Baader-Meinhoff Phenomenon where once you hear about some random thing or person, it seems like you repeatedly see or hear about that thing again? So, that's what happened with Ottolenghi. I was listening to Gastropod's episode about cookbooks like two days after we had chosen this book, and Yotam was on the show. THEN I was reading a book for my regular bookclub (I know, I lead a crazy life), and the character was cooking out of one of Ottolenghi's books! I can't make this shit up. What I'm trying to say is that this was serendipitous, and I totally feel like the universe needed me to have Krantz cake in my life. Thank you, universe, I am indebted.
One final side note- this makes TWO loaf cakes. Don't worry. You could literally eat both of them by yourself without any trouble.
Okay, so like I said, I used the cookbook. I will try to make it clear where I digress or add in my two cents as we go, since I am not providing a link. I would highly recommend this book though because all the recipes we made out of it were delicious.
For the dough:
4 1/2 c all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting
1/2 c superfine sugar *I used granulated- it was fine
2 tsp fast-rising active dry yeast *one packet is 2 1/4 tsp
Grated zest of 1 lemon
3 extra-large eggs *I just used large eggs
1/2 c water
2/3 c unsalted butter, room temperature, cubed
Sunflower oil for greasing *I just used cooking spray

1. Place the flour, sugar, yeast, and lemon zest in a stand mixer fitted with a dough hook and mix on low speed for 1 minute.
2. Add the eggs and water and mix on medium speed for about 3 minutes until the dough comes together.
3. Add the salt; then start adding the butter a few cubes at time, mixing until it's incorporated into the dough. *This will seem like a lot of butter. Your mixer is gonna be greased up like a pig. **This is a weird expression, btw.

4. Continue mixing for about 10 minutes on medium speed, until the dough is completely smooth, elastic, and shiny. *Yotam says during the mixing, you may need to scrape down the sides and add a bit more flour. I didn't need to scrape down the sides, because, like I said, there was so much butter, but I did add just a small amount of flour, and this really helped things to come together better.

 

5. Once all the dough has mixed for about 10 minutes, and it's coming off the sides of the bowl cleanly, place the dough in a large bowl that's been lightly oiled. Cover with plastic wrap, and leave in the fridge for at least half a day, preferably overnight.
*The recipe doesn't say how much this dough should rise. I assumed it would rise in the fridge overnight because it has yeast in it. Mine didn't rise AT ALL. That's okay. Everything still worked out okay. Mine did rise later in the process, so if yours doesn't then, you might have problems, but at this point, it's okay. Don't panic!

For the filling:
1/2 c powdered sugar
1/3 c cocoa powder
4 1/2 oz dark chocolate, melted
1/2 c butter, melted
1 c pecans
2 tbsp granulated sugar

1. Grease two 2 1/4 lb loaf pans (9 x 4 in) (again I just used cooking spray). Line the bottom with parchment paper. *I left an overhang on the sides so I could easily lift the cakes out after they were done baking. I also sprayed on top of the parchment paper with cooking spray.
2. Melt the dark chocolate and butter. *You can just melt them together in the microwave in short increments of time (like 15 seconds). Be careful not to overheat it.
2. Make the filling by mixing together the powdered sugar, cocoa powder, melted butter, and chocolate. You will get a spreadable paste. *The pecans and granulated sugar will NOT be mixed with this. **As this cools down a bit, it will be more spreadable and less pourable. If you still feel like it's too thin when you go to use it, just add a pinch more powdered sugar.
3. Divide the dough in half and keep one half covered and in the fridge while you work. *I left it covered on the counter, and this made the second loaf much easier to roll out. This dough is hella dense. Like you could take out someone if you threw it at them.

4. Roll out the dough on a lightly floured surface into a rectangle measuring 15 x 11 inches.
5. Trim the sides to make them even. Then position the longest side closest to you.
6. Use an offset spatula and spread half the chocolate mixture onto the dough, leaving 3/4 in border all around.
7. Sprinkle half the pecans on top of the chocolate. Then sprinkle over half the granulated sugar.

8. Brush a little water along the edge farthest from you. *This will help seal up the roll.
9. Using both hands, roll up the rectangle tightly, starting with the long side that is closest to you and ending with the long side that has the water on it. Press to seal the watered edge, and then with both hands, smooth out the log to make sure it's a uniform size, resting on the seam.*This is like making cinnamon rolls.

10. Trim the two edges of the log about 3/4 in on both sides with a serrated knife.
11. Cut the log in half lengthwise. You are dividing the log into two even halves. *Mine started to unravel a bit, but it's okay. You can stick it all back together when you braid.
12. With the cut sides facing up, gently press together one end of each half; then lift the right half over the left. Repeat this process, but this time, lift the left half over the right, creating a two-pronged braid. Gently squeeze together the other ends. You will be left with a twisted look, showing the chocolate innards. *Also, I'm sorry for a lack of pictures during this step. I was by myself, and my hands were very busy...  This is what it looks like before you put it in the loaf pan. Don't worry if it's not perfect.

13. Carefully lift the cake into the loaf pan. *AND REPEAT THIS PROCESS ALL OVER AGAIN WITH THE SECOND DOUGH! **I promise the second one goes much more quickly.
14. Cover the loaves with a damp tea towel and put in a warm place to rise for an hour to an hour and a half. The loaves will rise about 10 to 20 percent this time. *I turned my oven to it's lowest setting while I was working. Once it preheated, I turned the oven off. This is where I put my dough to rise. It works every time!

15. Preheat oven to 375F, making sure that the oven has completely preheated before putting your loaves in. Remove the tea towels, and bake for 30 minutes or until a skewer inserted into the middle comes out clean (or kind of clean- there is chocolate after all). *Please make sure that if you put your loaves in the oven to proof, that you take them OUT before you preheat the oven.
16. While the cakes are in the oven, make the syrup.

For the syrup:
2/3 c water
1 1/4 c superfine (granulated) sugar

1. In a small saucepan, combine the water and sugar. Bring to a boil. As soon as the sugar dissolves, remove from heat and allow to cool down.
2. As soon as the cakes are out of the oven, brush all the syrup over them. It is important to use all the syrup. *You will be thinking, my god, I can't use all the syrup. There are puddles, woman, puddles! Just keep going. It'll be alright.
3. Leave the cakes until they are just warm, and remove them from the pans to let cool completely before serving. *I think you want to take them out while they're a little warm still so that all that sugar doesn't harden and make your life impossible later.

Difficulty: 3
Amount of Time: 4
Awesomeness: 5

Apple Pie

It's the first day of Fall, and one of the few days below 90 degrees in the Midwest, so I did the damn
thing and went apple picking with my husband and made an apple pie! #basicwhitebitch right here! Also it's weird that I haven't posted a fruit pie on this blog yet, so here we are. Also (again) this has a crumble topping because I believe that all fruit pies should have a crumble. Fight me.

For the crust:
**I used to make this crust and divide it into 2 crusts, but now I just use the whole thing as 1 crust, and I like it far better, but if you wanted to do that and top with the second crust, you're welcome to, but then you wouldn't have crumble topping, soooooo**

2 c all-purpose flour
1 tsp salt

1 tbsp granulated sugar
2/3 c butter
1/3 c milk (or heavy cream)*ish- it really depends on the humidity
1 tbsp vinegar *I have also just used buttermilk instead of the milk and vinegar combo
1/2 tsp cinnamon *optional, but nice

1. Preheat oven to 400F.
2. Combine flour, cinnamon, sugar, and salt in a large bowl. Grate in the butter and then incorporate with a pastry cutter (or just your hands) until you have pea-sized pieces of butter incorporated.
3. Add vinegar and gently mix.
4. Add milk (or heavy cream) a little at a time, mixing as you go until you have a dough that mostly comes together- it can be a little more or less depending on the day.
5. Turn out the dough onto a clean surface and just work it until it all comes together and you can form it into a ball.
6. Wrap in plastic wrap and put in the fridge for about 30 minutes (or just until you get everything else together- because I'm impatient.)

For the filling:

5 or 6 baking apples *I used golden delicious because that's what we picked, but granny smith is also perfect
1/3 c brown sugar
1 tbsp corn starch
1/2 tsp apple pie spice *I used pumpkin pie spice because..... same thing mostly
Pinch of salt
Juice of 1 lemon

1. Peel and slice apples into small-ish  half moon slices (like 1/4 inch thick)
2. Combine all ingredients in a large bowl, making sure all the apple pieces are coated, and set aside.


For the crumble topping:
1/2 c rolled oats
1/2 c all-purpose flour
1/2 c brown sugar
1/2 c unsalted butter, cold, cubed
1/4 tsp cinnamon *I don't really measure this. Just do what feels right
Pinch of salt
Pinch of cardmom *optional, but again, delicious

1. Combine all ingredients in a bowl.
2. Get ya hands in there and combine until you have pea-sized clumps of butter. Set aside for assembly.

Assembly:
1. Take pie crust out of the fridge. Flour a clean surface and your rolling pin.
2. Roll out the dough until about 1/4 to 1/2 inch thick.

3. Roll the dough up over the rolling pin for easy transport and place into pie dish.
4. Crimp edges.

5. Place apple filling in the pie crust.
6. Top with all of the crumble topping. Yes, all of it.
7. Put pie dish on top of a baking sheet just in case there's spillage.

8. Bake for about 45 - 55 minutes or until the crust and topping are golden brown.
9. Allow to cool to about room temp and dig in!