Guinness Chocolate Cookies

So this week on the 52 weeks of baking challenge is about CHOCOLATE! Look alive, people! I was also planning to try out some options for a March special, and March is all about St. Patrick's day. I am not a huge chocolate person, but when it's done well, AND when it includes Guinness, I'm down for a good time. This recipe makes about 3 dozen cookies. 

For the Cookies

1 tbsp Guinness reduction -*you will reduce one Guinness (you really only need about half of a Guinness, so you can sip on it a bit as well). You will use this for BOTH the dough and the ganache.

1 c (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temp

1/2 c brown sugar

1/2 c granulated sugar

2 eggs

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1 1/2 c all-purpose flour

1/2 c unsweetened cocoa powder 

1/2 tsp baking soda

3/4 tsp salt

1 tsp espresso powder *optional

1. Put Guinness in a small saucepan and reduce to about 1/2 the quantity. Bring to room temp before using. *If you want to do this the day before even, that's fine. 

2. Preheat oven to 350F.

3. In a stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment, cream together butter and sugars. 

4. Add one egg at a time, mixing to incorporate, and then add the vanilla and 1 tbsp of Guinness reduction.

5. In a separate bowl, combine dry ingredients- flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, salt, and espresso powder. Slowly add to the wet ingredients and mix to combine. 

6. Allow dough to chill in fridge for about 30 minutes to firm up a bit. 

7. Scoop out balls and place onto baking sheet. Bake for about 10 - 12 minutes. 

8. Allow to cool completely before glazing. 

For the Chocolate Ganache

1/4 c heavy cream

4 oz semi-sweet chocolate chips 

1 tbsp unsalted butter, cut into small pieces

Pinch of salt

1 tbsp Guinness reduction

Some flaky salt to finish

1. Place heavy cream in a small saucepan on the stove and heat until just at a simmer. 

2. While the cream is heating, put chocolate, butter, and salt in a small, heat-proof bowl.

3. Once the cream has heated, pour over chocolate and butter and cover bowl with plastic wrap for about five minutes. *This just gives the chocolate some time to melt and makes it easier to incorporate.

4. Stir the ingredients together. At first this will look like this isn't going to come together, but it totally will. Once it's smooth, add the Guinness reduction and stir to combine. 

5. Allow to cool a bit so that it thickens, and then top the cookies. You can either dip the top of cookies or spoon some on to the top. I dipped; I think it is the easiest way.

6. Sprinkle a little flaky salt on top to finish.

7. Obviously, this should be enjoyed with a pint of Guinness.  

Pina Colada Cupcakes

My friend, Liz whom I've talked about before, made me homemade pineapple preserves, which made me obviously want to make cupcakes and top them with a rum buttercream and some toasted coconut. Isn't that where your mind goes immediately? I thought so. Also, there's about 10 inches of snow on the ground, and I needed a little fucking summer. This recipe makes about 3 dozen cupcakes or three 9in cake pans. 

For the Cupcakes

1/2 c vegetable oil

1/2 c (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temp

2 c granulated sugar

3 eggs, separated

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 1/2 c cake flour

2 c all purpose flour

1 tsp salt

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1 1/2 tsp baking soda

1 c buttermilk

1/2 c pineapple juice

1 c chopped pineapple (I had pineapple slices, so I just chopped those).

1. Preheat oven to 375 F and prepare cake molds or cupcake tins. 

2. In two bowls, separate eggs and whisk the egg whites to medium peaks. Set aside. 

3. In a stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment, cream together oil, butter, and sugar. 

4. Add in eggs yolks one at a time until incorporated. Then add the vanilla. 

5. Mix together dry ingredients in a separate bowl. In another measuring cup, combine buttermilk and pineapple juice.

6. Add 1/3 of the dry ingredients to sugar mixture. 

7. Add in 1/2 of the wet ingredients.

8. Repeat with another 1/3 of dry, second 1/2of wet, and finish with the last 1/3 of dry. 

9. Gently fold the egg whites into the batter and fully incorporate. Once combined, add in the pineapple chunks and incorporate. 

10. Divide into your cake/cupcake tins. If you are making cupcakes, it's about 15 - 18 minutes in the oven. For cake, it's about 18 - 22 minutes. 

11. Allow to cool before filling. 

For the Buttercream

1/2 c dark rum

4 sticks unsalted butter, room temp

6 c powdered sugar

Pinch of salt

Splash of vanilla

*optional* splash of milk or heavy cream- I'm not gonna lie, I wanted more rum flavor, so I loosened with rum- this rum did NOT have the alcohol cooked out of it, so just keep that in mind (but it is miniscule).

1. Reduce the dark rum in a small pan on the stovetop until it's about 1/8 cup and allow to cool.*Beware of the vapors- girl, I felt like Scarlett O'Hara. 

2. In a stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment, beat butter and slowly incorporate powdered sugar, salt, rum, and vanilla extract. 

3. If it feels too thick, you can add a splash of milk or cream to loosen it a bit. 

Assembly 

You will also need:

Pineapple preserves (If you don't have a friend who makes it by hand, store-bought is fine.)

2/3 c coconut flakes (I used sweetened)

1. Toast the coconut on the stove top for a few minutes. Make sure to babysit it, because this shit will burn real quick. Allow to cool.

2. With a serrated knife, cut a hole into each cupcake, and fill with the pineapple preserves. 

3. Top with the rum buttercream. 

4. Add coconut flakes on top.

5. Make a real drink and enjoy together.

**IF you made a cake instead, this is what I would do:

1. Place first cake down. Add some buttercream, and with a piping bag, pipe around the top of the cake so that you have a dam. Add some pineapple preserves and coconut flakes. Repeat.  

Red Velvet Cupcakes

I am just gonna say it. I'm not a huge fan of red velvet. It's like it tries to be a chocolate cupcake but just can't quite make it. Now, I will say, I AM a huge fan of cream cheese frosting, so that helps red velvet's case in my eyes. I have been playing with this recipe for a while because I wanted it to be chocolatier but kept running into the issue of the extra cocoa powder muddying my color. So this is where I'm at now- I have found a pretty good balance of color and flavor. And besides, you HAVE to have red velvet for Valentine's Day.
This recipe makes three 9x9 inch cake rounds or about 3 dozen cupcakes.

For the Cupcakes:

1/2 c vegetable oil

1/2 c (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temp

2 c granulated sugar

3 eggs, separated

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 c all purpose flour

1 1/4 c cake flour

1/4 c cocoa powder *I bought this "red cocoa"- it helped a little, but I don't know that it is worth the money. If you want to use a little less cocoa (like 2 tbsp) instead of this expensive cocoa, do it. I've done it. 

1 tsp salt

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1 1/2 tsp baking soda

1 1/2 c buttermilk

1 tbsp vinegar

red food coloring (I don't really have a measurement for this- keep putting it in until you get a color you like- it will darken in the oven a bit. I used 1 oz or a little more)

1. Preheat oven to 375 F and prepare cake molds or cupcake tins. 

2. In two bowls, separate eggs and whisk the egg whites to medium peaks. Add some food coloring into this as well. Set aside. 

3. In a stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment, cream together oil, butter, and sugar. 

4. Add in eggs yolks one at a time until incorporated. Then add the vanilla. 

5. Mix together dry ingredients in a separate bowl. 

6. Add 1/3 of the dry ingredients to sugar mixture. 

7. Add in the vinegar, some red food coloring, and about half of the buttermilk. 

8. Repeat with another 1/3 of dry, second 1/2of buttermilk, and finish with the last 1/3 of dry. 

9. Gently fold the egg whites (or egg reds now ;) into the batter and fully incorporate. 

10. Divide into your cake/cupcake tins. If you are making cupcakes, it's about 15 - 18 minutes in the oven. For cake, it's about 18 - 22 minutes. 

11. Allow to cool before frosting.

For the Frosting:

2 (8 oz) boxes cream cheese, room temp

2 sticks unsalted butter, room temp

5 (ish) c powdered sugar

Splash of vanilla

Pinch of salt

*splash of heavy cream or milk- If it feels too thick, I like to add a bit of milk or cream to smooth out.

1. Put butter and cream cheese in stand mixer and mix to combine. 

2. Gradually incorporate the powdered sugar. 

3. Add vanilla and salt. 

4. Add a splash of heavy cream or milk if you want. 

5. Load up those cupcakes with delicious cream cheese frosting! *You will want to keep these in the fridge because of the cream cheese. I suggest taking them out about 20 - 30 minutes before eating so they can warm up a bit.  

Mini Pop Tarts

Still following the 52 weeks of baking challenge on Reddit, and this week is "bite-sized", so I made some mini pop tarts! These don't really taste like store bought pop tarts, but that's not really a bad thing is it? Plus, they're super easy to make. This recipe makes about 18 mini pop tarts (2 in X 2.5 in). 

For the crust:

2 c all-purpose flour

1 tsp salt

1 tbsp granulated sugar

1/2 tsp cardamom *optional*

2/3 c unsalted butter, cold

1/3 c *ish* heavy cream (or milk is fine here too)

1 tbsp white vinegar

1 egg (for the egg wash when assembling)

1. Preheat oven to 425F and line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

2. Combine flour, salt, sugar, and cardamom in a bowl. Using a cheese grater, grate in the butter and then incorporate with a pastry cutter until you have pea-sized pieces of butter throughout the mixture. *You can also do this in a food processor. I have a baby food processor, so here we are, doing it old school. 

3. Add vinegar and stir to incorporate. 

4. Add heavy cream in a bit at a time, mixing as you go, until the dough starts to come together. For me, I made these in February. It's dry. I added a good amount more of the heavy cream this time. 

5. Turn out onto a clean surface and form into a ball. Wrap in plastic wrap and allow to to chill in the fridge for about 30 minutes. *I'm gonna be honest; I didn't chill it this time because I wanted pop tarts stat, and it was fine, so follow your heart.  

For the fillings:

*I did three different fillings because I wanted to try out a couple of different options. 

Strawberry jam *I used store bought. I'm not Ina. I can do that. 

Nutella *Again, store bought. Come at me. 

Brown sugar mixture:

1. Place 2 tbsp butter in a bowl and melt in microwave. 

2. Add a pinch of salt and about 1/2 - 3/4 c brown sugar. *I'm not gonna lie, I didn't measure how much brown sugar. You want it to be pretty thick. We are trying to prevent it from just straight up running out off the pie crust. 

Assembly:

1. Roll out the pie crust dough to about 1/8 inch thick. Cut into rectangles (like I said, I did 2 inch x 2.5 inch). I DID also re-roll out the jagged edges again to get more rectangles, and it was fine. 

2. Place half of your rectangles onto the parchment lined baking sheets. 

3. Take one spoonful of your desired filling and put it in the middle of each square. *You don't want to over fill here. It will all come out the sides if you do. Ask me how I know... 

4. Crack the egg in a small bowl and mix it with a splash of water to make an egg wash. 

5. Take another rectangle and brush the edges of it with egg wash. Place that side down on top of a rectangle with filling. You're making a glue for the two crust pieces to stick together. 

6. Use a fork to crimp the edges so that the crust stays together. *I tried the first one without the egg wash, and it didn't hold well, so the egg wash is a must. 

7. Once all assembled, brush the tops of each tart with egg wash. 

8. Bake at 425F for about 20 - 25 minutes or until golden brown. 

9. Allow to cool before glazing. 

For the glaze:

1/4 c heavy cream or milk 

1/2 c powdered sugar, sifted *again, I didn't really measure these. We are making a glaze. We measure with our hearts (and our eyes). 

Pinch of salt

Splash of vanilla extract

1. Pour heavy cream and vanilla extract into a bowl. 

2. Sift in the powdered sugar and add the pinch of salt. Stir to combine. If it's too thin, add more powdered sugar. If it's too thick, add more heavy cream. I wanted a THICK paste that I could slather on with an off-set spatula instead of a dunking situation. See below. 

3. Once tarts are cooled, slather with glaze and add sprinkles or sanding sugar. 

Grapefruit Shortbread Cookies

This was the second challenge for the 52 weeks of baking (2021): seasonal ingredients. I decided on grapefruit because I love it. I think I'm probably about 70 because I eat it straight up all the time. Anyway, these aren't super grapefruit-y; they are more like a nice shortbread with a little hint of citrus, but I am writing the recipe down so that I don't forget what I did (because it's delicious), and I can try to punch up the grapefruit flavor more in the future. So what I'm saying is, even if you're not a huge grapefruit fan, just give these a try. Also check out my sweet ass cutting board that my husband made me. Perfect picture setting.

This recipe makes about 2 dozen large cookies. 

For the dough:

1 c unsalted butter (2 sticks), room temp

1/2 c granulated sugar

2 1/4 c all-purpose flour *this is what I used, but it may change depending on the humidity and the amount of juice you get from the grapefruit 

1/2 tsp salt

zest of 1 grapefruit

juice of 1/2 a grapefruit

1 tsp vanilla 

1/2 tsp cardamom *I didn't do this yet, but I think it will help with the citrus tones

1. Preheat oven to 350F. Combine butter and sugar in a stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment. 

2. Add juice, zest, and vanilla and mix to combine.

3. Slowly incorporate the dry ingredients: salt, *cardamom*, and flour. 

4. Turn out onto a clean surface. It is a little crumbly at first, so work the dough into a ball that stays together. 

5. Flour a rolling pin and roll out to about 1/4 - 1/2 inch thick; use your favorite cookie cutter to stamp out cookies. *you will re-roll the dough again for more cookies. It's okay, I promise. 

6. Take a spatula and transfer them on to a baking sheet. Bake for 12 - 14 minutes or until lightly golden on the bottom and just barely on the edges. 

7. Allow to cool on a wire rack before glazing.

For the glaze:

Juice of 1/2 a grapefruit

1 - 1 1/2 c powdered sugar *again, you know the rules. You can see in the video below the consistency you are looking for.

*I think more zest here would also be good, but then you have to have more than one grapefruit, so there's that. Do with this information what you will.

1. Put juice in a bowl and sift in the powdered sugar a bit at a time. I'd start with about half a cup and then mix it up. If it needs to be thicker, add more powdered sugar. If it needs to be thinner (probably doesn't), add more juice or water. 

2. Dip the top of the cookies into the glaze and then return to the wire rack to allow glaze to firm up. 

Pecan Pie Bundt Cake

So, I want to try to follow along with the 52 week baking challenge on reddit. Will I make it through all 52 weeks? Maybe not, but I do want to try; you know how motivated January Jenna is. We will see how far we get. I also will not be making my own recipes for all of the weeks, but this week I am. The first week was "new year, new recipe". Surprise: another cake recipe with a pie theme. Am I becoming predictable? I don't even care because it's fucking delicious. This recipe makes one 10 inch bundt cake. 

For the pecan pie filling:

This is the filling from the pecan pie cupcakes recipe; I will go ahead and share those ingredients here too so you don't have to click around too much. 

3 eggs

3/4 c light corn syrup

1/4 c unsalted butter, cubed

1/2 tsp salt

2 c chopped pecans *So you are going to need another 1/2 c of pecans for the cake, so keep that in mind, and toast them all together; just set aside 1/2 c for later.

1 tsp vanilla extract 

1. Throw pecans in a dry pan and toast them. Do NOT walk away; just toast them until you start to smell them. Set aside. *I had whole pecans and then chopped them after toasting. If you do this too, when you are measuring, you will want about 3 c of whole pecans or so. 

2. Combine all ingredients into a saucepan except the pecans and vanilla extract. Heat over medium heat until it starts to boil, stirring constantly. 

3. Add the pecans and vanilla extract to the saucepan and boil for another 30 seconds or so. 

4. Remove from heat and allow to cool; you can stick in the fridge if you want it to cool faster. *I am not gonna lie, I didn't let it cool very long, but I think you should. I'm wondering if it will help it to not stick so much in the pan? Follow your heart. 

For the bundt cake:

3 sticks unsalted butter, room temp

1 c granulated sugar

1/2 c brown sugar

6 large eggs

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 3/4 c all-purpose flour

1 1/2 tsp salt

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 c chopped pecans, toasted

1. Prepare bundt pan with goop and preheat oven to 325F. 

2. Cream together butter and sugars in a stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment until the mixture becomes slightly fluffy. 

3. Slowly incorporate eggs, one at a time, making sure to combine between each egg. Add vanilla extract. 

4. Combine dry ingredients in a small bowl and then add them to the wet mixture slowly until incorporated. 

5. Fold in the toasted pecans. 

Assembly:

1. Put about half of the pecan pie filling into the bottom of the prepared bundt pan (this will be the top of the cake eventually). 

2. Put about half of the cake batter on top. 

3. Add the rest of the pecan pie filling and marble it a bit into the cake batter. 

4. Finish with the rest of the cake batter. 

5. Bake for about an hour, but check at 50 minutes or so. When a toothpick inserted comes out clean, you are good to go. 

6. Allow to cool before turning out. *Mine stuck to the pan a bit, but doesn't matter. As you can see in the images below, you can just take a rubber spatula to lift the rest out of the pan and smoosh it onto the cake. Technical term there. Smoosh. 

Oops!

Before

 

All better :) 

Spiced Clementine Pound Cake

Yeah, you read that title and were like what the hell? It's okay, I promise it's good. So my friend Liz made some candied clementines and gave me some, and I thought, you know what, let's make a cake with those. I asked her to send me the link to the recipe she used, and she sent me three links and told me about the bastardization of a recipe that she did, so I'll try to give you what she did. 

For the Clementines:

12 clementines 

4 c granulated sugar

3 c water

1 cinnamon stick

1 piece candied ginger

3 - 4 cardamom pods

1. Wash the clementines well and poke with a toothpick or fork several times to pierce the skin. In a pot, combine all the ingredients above. 

2. Bring to a simmer, cover, and simmer for 1 - 2 hours (the longer, the softer the rind will be). Be careful not to boil them. Let the clementines cool in the syrup. 

3. Chop up 4 of them and reserve for the cake. The rest, you can chop and use almost like a marmalade on toast. and the simple syrup is delicious in a drink as well! 

For the Cake:

3 sticks unsalted butter, room temp

1 c granulated sugar

1/2 c brown sugar

6 large eggs

1 3/4 c all-purpose flour

1 1/2 tsp salt

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp cinnamon 

1/4 tsp ground ginger

1. Prepare bundt pan with goop and preheat oven to 325F. 

2. Cream together butter and sugars in a stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment. 

3. Slowly add in eggs, making sure to incorporate between each egg. 

4. Combine dry ingredients in a small bowl (flour, salt, baking powder, spices). Add them to the wet ingredients slowly until incorporated. 

5. Add chopped up clementines to the batter and combine. 

6. Bake for 45 - 55 minutes or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean. 

For the Glaze:

1/4 c clementine syrup (again, I'm sorry; I am very bad at actually measuring things for a glaze... this is an estimate)

Juice of 1 lemon

2 ish c powdered sugar (also an estimate- you want it to be thick, but also pourable)

1. Combine in a bowl until you get a fairly thick consistency. 

2. Once cake is turned out onto a tray and cooled completely, drizzle glaze over the top. Allow to harden. 

Chai Spice Blondies

Our book club meets once a month where we discuss our book, drink far too much beer, and usually have a themed dessert to go along with everything. This month, we read "Erotic Stories for Punjabi Women"- I recommend by the way. Anyway, Chai was a prominent flavor in the book, so that's how these blondies came to be! This makes about 12 larger blondies or 16 smaller squares. 

For the Chai Spice: 

This was taken from Dessert for Two. I used ALL of it in the blondies- it is a bit potent, but I wasn't mad about it. Mix the following spices in a bowl and set aside:

1/2 tsp ground ginger

3/4 tsp ground cardamom

1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper

1/2 tsp ground cloves

1 tsp ground cinnamon 

For the Blondies:

3/4 c (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted

1 1/2 c brown sugar

3 eggs 

1 1/4 c all-purpose flour 

1/2 tsp salt 

1 tsp vanilla extract 

1/4 c chopped pistachios *I would do more than this next time; I only did this much because I accidentally bought the shell-on pistachios and started hating my life after shelling 1/4 c of them. Patience isn't my strong suit. 

1. Preheat oven to 375F. Prepare an 8x8 inch pan with some nonstick spray and parchment paper. I leave a little parchment hanging off the sides so I can easily lift out of the pan. 

2. Melt butter in the microwave. Stir in the brown sugar. 

3. Once it's a little cooled off, stir in eggs one at a time, mixing between each to fully combine. Add vanilla. 

4. Add flour, chai spice, and salt to the wet mixture and mix well to combine. 

5. Add in pistachios. *I also think a little white chocolate might be nice in here. You do you, boo. 

6. Bake for 50 - 60 minutes or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean. Again, I feel like this is a case where underdone is better than overdone. Think about brownies- you want some chew and goo in a blondie. 

Here's the book, by the way:

Snickerdoodle Cookies

It's holiday season, y'all, so that means snickerdoodle. I actually made this recipe over the summer and never wrote the blog post and every time I go to make snickerdoodle, I'm like damnit, where did I put that recipe, so here we are. It's perfect timing to get this out to anyone who needs a little cinnamon sugar love this time of year. Answer: we all need it. All of us. 

This recipe makes about 3 dozen cookies. 

For the cookies: 

1 c (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temp

1/2 c brown sugar

1/2 c granulated sugar

2 eggs

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 c all-purpose flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

3/4 tsp cinnamon 

3/4 tsp salt

Cinnamon and sugar for rolling *I don't measure how much I put in a bowl.. I do like half a cup of sugar and maybe a tsp cinnamon? I just do it until I feel like I have enough cinnamon. Spoiler alert- a lot of cinnamon. 

1. In a stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment, cream together butter and sugars. 

2. Add one egg at a time, mixing to incorporate. Add vanilla. 

3. In a separate bowl, combine dry ingredients- flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon. Slowly add to the wet ingredients and mix to combine. 

4. Allow dough to chill in fridge for about 30 minutes. Preheat oven to 350F.

5. Scoop into balls (I use an ice cream scoop, but a spoon is fine too); roll them in your hand to form a ball and roll them in cinnamon and sugar mixture. Bake for about 8 -12 minutes. *I find that a little underdone is better than overdone. 

           

6. Turn on some holiday music and drown your COVID Christmas sorrows in cinnamon and sugar. 

Pumpkin Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting

Basic white bitch here, and I don't care who knows it. It's fall, and I want pumpkin. There, I said it. I don't know why there's so much pumpkin hate all of a sudden, but I say, find any pleasure you can in this cataclysmic world that is 2020 right now. I prefer to have my happiness slathered with some cream cheese frosting, thank you very much. 

This recipe makes a three layer 9-inch round cake or 24 cupcakes (plus a little extra). 

For the batter:

1/2 c vegetable oil

1 c pumpkin puree (not canned pumpkin pie filling)

1 1/2 c granulated sugar

1/2 c brown sugar

3 eggs 

1 tsp vanilla extract 

3 1/2 c all-purpose flour

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1 1/2 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt 

3/4 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp ground cloves

1/4 tsp ground ginger

1 c buttermilk 

1. Preheat oven to 350F and prepare cupcake pans with liners and grease a small pan (I usually do 6 in) for the extra batter. 

2. In stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment, mix together oil, pumpkin puree, granulated sugar, and brown sugar. 

3. Add in vanilla extract and the eggs, mixing to incorporate after each egg. 

4. In a separate bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and spices. 

5. Pour 1/3 of the dry ingredients into the sugar mixture and mix to combine. 

6. Pour 1/2 of the buttermilk into sugar mixture and combine. 

7. Pour another 1/3 of dry ingredients. 

8. Pour second 1/2 of buttermilk. 

9. Pour in last 1/3 of dry ingredients. 

10. Distribute into pans and bake for 18 - 22 minutes or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean. 

11. Allow to cool completely before topping with frosting. 

For the frosting:

1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, room temp

12 oz (1 1/2 boxes) cream cheese, room temp

5 ish c powdered sugar

Splash of vanilla

Pinch of salt  

Splash of milk or cream (optional)

1. Put butter and cream cheese into stand mixer fitted with paddle (or whisk) attachment and start to add in powdered sugar slowly to incorporate. Start with about 4 c, and see how you like the texture. You can always add more. 

2. Add in vanilla and salt. Whip for a few minutes until fluffy. You can add a splash of milk if it's too thick. *This is a pretty thick frosting though, because cream cheese. 

3. Put in a pastry bag with your desired tip and frost the cupcakes. *I actually just snipped a big whole in my pastry bag and went to town; didn't use a tip. I feel like there's a that's what she said joke in there somewhere. 

4. Please ask me how much frosting I made the first time and why I ended up with an entire pastry bag still full at the end of all my frosting... 

Apple Pie Crumb Bars

I am very much a summer girl, but I tell ya, this Fall got me leaning hard into it. I feel like COVID is sucking all the joy out of everything, so if I want to celebrate Fall, I will, damnit. Sorry, the anger is not directed at you. Anyway, we continue our sepia-toned journey this Fall with apple pie crumb bars. Shortbread crust covered with apple pie filling and topped with crumb topping (as all pies should be). This makes about a 13 x 9 pan- I actually made two 8x8 inch pans with this recipe, but it'll work well in a 13 x 9 as well.  OR You can do it all in one 8x8 inch pan and have fatties. I've done this also, and I'm not mad about it. *You will see just a few changes to the original recipe that need to be made for this option. 

For the apple pie filling:

I like to start here so that you don't feel rushed trying to cut up all these apples while the shortbread bakes. 

7 apples *I used golden delicious and pixie crunch because we went apple picking, and that's what we had, but you want to use any kind of tart, baking apple- the queen is always granny smith. ** IF you are doing the fatties (just one 8x8 in pan, you will use 4 apples)

1/2 c granulated sugar *Or 1/3 c for fatties

3/4 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp cardamom

1/8 tsp ground cloves

Pinch of ground ginger

Pinch of salt

Juice of 1/2 a lemon

1 tbsp corn starch * 1/2 tbsp corn starch for fatties

1. peel and cube apples into smallish pieces- you want it to homogenize some so that it stays in the bars after cooked, so smaller is better. 

2. Put apples, spices, and lemon juice into a medium pan on the stove and start to cook at medium-low heat. 

3. Once some of the juices start to come out of the apples, add the tbsp of corn starch. This will help thicken all those juices. 

4. Continue to cook until the filling becomes rather thick and the apples start to soften- a little bite in there is fine! You can start on the shortbread while this cooks. 

For the shortbread:

2 sticks unsalted butter, room temp

1/2 c granulated sugar 

2 c all-purpose flour *this is a little less than I usually use, but it worked well for me. If it feels too wet and not very sandy, you can add a bit more*

3/4 tsp salt

1/2 tsp cardamom 

Zest of 1 lemon

1. Preheat oven to 350 F and line pan with parchment (with a bit of overhang so you can pull it out of the pan for cutting and serving), and spray with cooking spray. 

2. Put butter and sugar in stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment and cream together for a few minutes. 

3. Add spices and lemon zest. Slowly add in flour until you get the desired texture (that 2ish cups we discussed). 

4. Pour out into prepared pan and press down into a solid layer. 

5. Par-bake at this point for about 20 minutes; start on the crumb topping while it's baking. 

For the crumb topping:

1/2 c all-purpose flour

1/2 c brown sugar

1/2 c butter, cold and cubed

1/2 c rolled oats 

1. Place all ingredients in a bowl and combine. *use a pastry cutter or your hands to get butter to about pea size. 

Assembly:

1. After shortbread is par-baked, take out of oven and top with the apple pie filling and the crumb topping. 

2. Bake again for about 40 - 50 minutes or until topping is golden brown and set. 

3. Allow to cool COMPLETELY before trying to take out of pan to cut. Or if you're not planning to share, stick a spoon in it and go to town, but don't say I didn't warn you that it's demon hot. Proceed with cautious abandon.